A Life Less Ordinary/Lycra Still Looks Awful!!

A Life Less Ordinary/Lycra Still Looks Awful

Written January 2015 (updated August 2019)

January 1^st 2015 – New Years Day, a time for planning new adventures, goal setting and for our family, the start of a whole new era.

High performance/elite level sport has been a constant in our relationship since I met Dave at Loughborough University in 1997. At that time, Dave had been to the World Junior Cross Country and was the English Schools Steeplechase Champion and I was – well, an injured ex-swimmer. But sport, the dream of major championships and the sharing of the common values that sport offers shaped our relationship.

Nearly 20 years later and Dave has decided to finally hang up his spikes (all of them –5mm, 6mm, 9mm and 18mm), off road trainers, trainers for actually training in and racing flats following a series of niggles, which at the age of 36 have proven to be insurmountable.

So, we find ourselves facing unchartered territory – life without 100miles per week, without the never ending muddy lycra being delivered to the washing machine and without the cycle of marathon build ups that inevitably end in my daughter or I infecting Dave with the latest bug just in time to ruin his race.

It is a daunting time for us all – dramatic as that sounds. I am sure that many athletes, who turned their back on the sport when they still adored it, will understand. When I finally had to admit that my own dreams of senior international representation were now simply dreams, I sat up all night crying – Dave at my side. I remember the pain of acknowledgement so clearly, it was like bereavement.

Now I am on the other side of it all and it is possible to reflect on my husband’s athletics career from my perspective, the highs and the lows.

Growing up as a swimmer, I understand commitment to sport. I also understand that individual sports are simply team sports with fewer players on the pitch, but more behind the scenes.

I needed to learn about athletics and I needed to do it quickly. In 1998 – I clearly remember trying to learn a new set of PB’s and competition structures. I tried to work it all out so that each event had a parallel that I understood. English Schools for example is akin to the National Age Groups in swimming. We had many heated discussions about how daft the system of ‘first 3 athletes per heat plus 2 fastest losers’ was. In swimming, the fastest 8 from the heats proceed to the final – simple. They could all come from the same heat, but they were the fastest.

Dave had just joined Newham and Essex Beagles, so I was introduced to his new teammates, such as Mark Warmby and Andy Robinson. Throughout Dave’s NEB days the team manager, Bob Smith, remained a constant. Always supportive, kind and 100% athlete focused, he fast became and remains a friend to us both.

As the years ticked by, the circle of athletic friends and acquaintances grew. Each year at Loughborough brought in another talented bunch of athletes and I couldn’t help but be impressed at their dedication. Athletes such as Steve Vernon, Ollie Laws, Gareth Turnbull were Dave’s friends and housemates. Living with and being surrounded by athletes, it was easy for me to forget just how talented the people around me really were. Whilst Dave had become accustomed to being around elite athletes, every now and again, I was totally, embarrassingly star struck. Legends such as Paula Radcliffe, Zola Budd, the late Mark Sesay and, of course Mo Farah all fall into this category for me.

In the early years Dave was racing Steeple Chase. This always terrified me. He is the first to admit that this technique into the barriers was strange – as will any athlete that Dave nearly tripped up over the years! Two steps out, he would perform an odd, dance style move where he veered wildly to the side, then over correct with the next step before hurdling the barrier. Sometimes this ended face down, usually in the water jump!

When in 2003 Dave decided to target the marathon, I wasn’t surprised. This next step took Dave all around the world, racing in events all over Europe and over to Bermuda. His first (and, as it happened 2nd, 3^rd and 4^th) London Marathon didn’t go to plan – being found on the course at 22 miles, convinced he’d stopped at mile 16. This was “the Wall” in all its agonising splendour! I found him back at the Tower Thistle Hotel in a complete mess. He took marathon setbacks like this badly– simply because of the time, energy and personal sacrifices that he’d made to put himself on the start line in the first place.

The next adventure (2006) was Duathlon. Keen to try his hand at this before he was “too old”, I supported the changes. These included the grease on the lounge carpet, the hideous injuries from crashing the bike and the time away. Almost every weekend during race season Dave would travel to France to compete for his French race team. Then there were the training camps and the races to exotic locations such as China and Thailand. The time that these athletes give to their sport is phenomenal; training, travelling, racing, recovering – then the constant upkeep of the bike.

After a couple of years of this Dave realised his heart was still in running. This time Dave fancied turning his hand to anything that he hadn’t previously tried. He raced up mountains and turned his hand to ultra distance.

Dave is without doubt phenomenally talented. He denies this, stating simply that he was an average youngster who just loved to run and trained hard. Whatever the truth, the facts are that he has represented Great Britain or England as an U17, U20, U23 and senior on the track, road and/or cross country, at Duathlon, uphill only 50km and 100km. 'Only' the major championships (the childhood dream if you like) eluded him. 




So, in conclusion, as an impartial athletics observer, for nearly 20 years – what have I learned?

1)      It is only a lonely sport if you let it be one.

2)      It is similar in many ways to swimming – not least in that everyone knows someone who could have been amazing at it but life/injury/lack of dedication got in the way.

3)      Lycra is not, and never will be attractive on men.

4)      You are realistically unlikely to get out of the sport as much as you invest in it – but it is worth every second/penny if you enjoy it.

5)      You will be an ‘ex-athlete’ for much longer than you were an ‘athlete’ for; take time to reflect on your successes, rather than focus on the ‘one that got away’.

Who knows what 2015 will bring – Dave has once again found his bike and will look to train/compete ‘just for fun’. Whatever he does, it is unlikely to involve running, though I would never fully discount this. But, the sport has given him, and therefore us as a family, far more than it took from us, and for that we are incredibly grateful.

Addendum - August 2019. 

The 'just for fun' cycling has spiralled into an elite license, bikes, yet more Lycra and washing, broken bones, National medals, titles, new circles of friends and me playing catch up to learn yet another sport. This blog, when written back in 2015, was only ever read by one other person. That wasn't even Dave. This was written for me to document the sport of athletics that had been such a huge part of my husbands life, to cathartically express the concerns at how we might manage this significant part of our lives and for our daughter, who cannot remember much at all about his running days.  Ellie has only 2 memories of this time. The first is playing in a tent and eating sweets at the National Road Relays with Rhianna (Mo's daughter) and having a great day aged about 4. The second is being unable to see Dave in a race until 'Big Bob' (Smith) lifted her up onto his shoulders and she was taller than she'd ever been before!!
It was Bob that read this back in December 2015. I sent it to him when he was in hospital recovering from a bout of chemotherapy. Sadly Bob passed away 18 months later, but will always be a huge part of Dave's athletics career and 50% of our daughters athletics memories!!

And with athletics firmly part of the 'past' it felt like the right time to let him to read it and allow others' to do the same.